By a football nut, for football nuts.
Hold onto your scarves, because this summer’s transfer saga is pure chaos and Manchester United are everywhere.
Let’s start with Nicolas Jackson. Yes, that Jackson. The chaos merchant up front for Chelsea who scores one, misses two, and might see red just for blinking.
United are sniffing around, desperate for a proper No.9. The rumour mill’s even spinning out a Garnacho-for-Jackson swap. Mental? Maybe.
But with Villa and Milan also sweet on Jackson, the race is heating up. Just don’t tell Villa Chelsea are also eyeing up Morgan Rogers, their shiny new gem. Expect some awkward silences between those two clubs.
Meanwhile, back at Old Trafford, Unai Emery is reportedly planning a stealth raid on Alejandro Garnacho just like he revived Rashford, he fancies doing the same for the electric Argentine.
Tactical nous? Relentless pressing? At Villa, you work for your flair. And it’s no surprise Garnacho’s hot property after reports revealed he snubbed a mega-money Saudi move. Bold.
The search for a striker continues and Nicolas Jackson isn’t the only name. But United’s approach has already hit snags elsewhere too, as their move for Brentford’s Bryan Mbeumo reportedly smashed into a £70m wall. Ouch.
And it doesn’t stop there. Enter Pervis Estupinan. Brighton’s turbocharged left-back is wanted by both Milan and United. The Ecuadorian wants a new challenge and let’s face it, either of those two clubs would offer it in spades (for very different reasons).
Meanwhile, Marcus Rashford might be turning his gaze to Barcelona or Turin. Juventus are the latest to show interest in the England man. If he does go, it’ll mark the end of another rollercoaster chapter.
Granit Xhaka, everyone’s favourite pantomime villain-turned-midfield general, is being linked with an eyebrow-raising move to Sunderland unless Neom FC from Saudi swoop in. Who knew?
Elsewhere, Ademola Lookman, the man who broke Bayer Leverkusen’s Invincitreble dream with that unforgettable Europa League final hat-trick, is being chased by Inter.
And Bayern, fresh off ending their one-year Bundesliga drought, want Stuttgart’s Nick Woltemade to eventually replace Harry Kane. Stuttgart, hilariously, told them to stick their €50m + extras. But we all know how that story usually ends…
Oh, and West Ham? Quietly doing serious business. They’ve already locked in Senegal’s rising star El Hadji Malick Diouf at left-back, and are now going after both Harvey Elliott and Marcus Tavernier. If Potterball is coming, it’s being done the smart way.
It’s only mid-July, but this transfer window is going full Hollywood.
Strap in. It’s beautiful, bonkers chaos and we live for it.
